The landscape is not the only beautiful thing in Scandinavia. When it comes to women, it’s no wonder that so many supermodels are Swedish. Sweden is one of the most developed countries in Europe, with a high rank on the human development index and an accepting, tolerant society. Still, some aspects of dating Swedish women are challenging for foreigners. Not only is Nordic culture different to what you might be used to, the current social climate might turn out to be completely unlike what you expected.
Read on to learn how to meet, impress, and date your Swedish crush. No complications allowed!
What Are Swedish Women Like
They are not all tall and leggy blonds, though many are just that. You’d be surprised at the amount of Middle Eastern girls in Sweden, many of them born and raised in the country. They tend to be a bit more picky about their men but if you score one, I guarantee they make the best girlfriends ever—all the honesty and solidity of a Swedish person plus all the caring and warmth of the Middle East.
Finally, when it comes to social interaction, Swedish women are notoriously cold at first. It’s not personal, 9 out of 10 times it’s just because she’s shy. Prepare to do most of the talking and make an effort to make her feel at ease. It will help a lot.
Before The Date
You want to meet a Swedish girl. It can seem like mission impossible at first. Swedes are reserved, they tend to stick with their group of friends and they are big in equality and feminism so some might take day game as an offence. Besides, with the usual winter temperatures in Sweden, you can’t physically endure day game on the street for too long.
I genuinely believe that online dating is your best bet in Nordic countries. It is a no-judgement dating scene where people would be looking for casual hook-ups and long-term relationships on the very same site. Tinder, which is the obvious choice for travelers, works wonders for a vacation fling. For more serious stuff, though, while Tinder remains an option, I’d also try out more sophisticated dating platforms.
If you are looking for the best premium dating site in Scandinavia, check out our reviews and take your pick. My personal favourite is…
Prepare The Anecdotes
So you met a girl. Now what?
The notorious Nordic introversion is obvious in Swedish women. In most cases, it’s not that she is disinterested. Swedes are genuinely private and silent people. They all speak great English but communicating in a second language also comes with a certain barrier. All of that considered, you should be prepared to do most of the talking.
Swedish women enjoy good conversation and genuine connection (as most humans do). Don’t worry about her relative silence. Though she may not be the best conversationalist, if she chooses to spend time with you, you can be sure she’s at least a little bit interested. Because, yes, this is one of the most distinct aspects of Swedish dating culture:
People Are Straightforward. Very Straightforward.
In some countries, women just don’t know how to say no. They would go out with people they don’t have the slightest interest in…just because they asked. It’s weird, it wastes time, and ultimately it only leads to disappointment.
With Swedish women, this is no issue. If she’s still talking to you, it means that she’s interested. If she said yes to a date—she is interested. Some girls might even ask you out themselves. That is why I love dating in Scandinavia. The usual playing hard to get BS is simply non-existent here.
The bottom line is: screw your insecurities. This beautiful girl chose to spend time with you. It means that you are good enough. Relax, prepare some cool stories, and get ready for an awesome date.
Picking The Best Date Location
Casual dating is the name of the game, at least at first. While any girl would be flattered by the full wining and dining experience, it is simply too much for a first date. Research a couple of cool bars in the area. Websites like Culture Trip or even looking through the suggestions on Google Maps are your best friend in this.
For daytime, coffee shops are the obvious choice. Swedes do love their coffee. Don’t bring her to Starbucks (I mean, don’t hate me, but Starbucks coffee is really not the best there is), pick a cosy local café instead.
You could do a more interesting, non-traditional date, too. If you talked about a specific interest both of you had, why not make that your first date? Fun fact: people associate the adrenaline rush with falling in love. Bring your Swedish date to a rock climbing date and your chances of a second one go way up. Besides, physical activities like that are a great way to evaluate your chemistry without actually breaking any personal boundaries. Which brings me to…
Respect Her Space
There are some cultures (uhm, anywhere in the South) where kisses, hugs, and tons of gestures are common. If you come from a place like that, Swedish women might strike you as horribly cold.
They are not. They just prefer to keep to themselves at first.
Here is another fun fact for you: people always register physical touch. There is no such thing as accidental touching. The level of comfort with touch depends on how you were raised and thus is cultural.
In the North, people tend to have a larger personal space. When you first meet your date, follow her cues on how to greet her. To me, hugs are pretty natural. I greet friends and acquaintances with hugs all the time. Swedes don’t. To avoid the awkward “go in for a hug while she wants a handshake” take a second and follow her. It will save you a lot of uncomfortable situations.
The Debates Are On
The Swedish education system is great. Don’t be fooled by the beautiful blonde that sits across the table. Swedish women are very smart and well-read. They are big on reasoning and science over feelings.
At the same time, Swedes are among the most accepting people you will ever meet. All faiths are welcome and respected in Sweden, though religion rarely interferes with political decisions. Swedish women tend to be a lot more left wing than the typical US girl, and they know and care a lot more about politics, too.
Whether you enjoy debating or not, consider all of these Swedish women characteristics during your date. Closed-mindedness is a huge turn-off for Swedes. Regardless of what your opinion is, try to remain tolerant and impartial, or else your date might turn into a heated argument. Not fun at all.
Please, No Misogynist Jokes
Swedish women are huge on equality. And yes, sometimes they lack a sense of humor in this respect. You’d do best to avoid the topic altogether. You never know what could “trigger” her. Besides, feminism and politics are hardly a light subject to discuss on a first date.
On the plus side, your Swedish date’s strong belief in gender equality means you don’t have to pay on the first date. She would not be expecting any extravagant gestures either. Swedish women value personal qualities like honesty, loyalty, and contribution to the community much higher than your income or your ability to provide a luxurious lifestyle for her. Why? Well, pretty much everyone in Sweden is living a comfortable life already. They don’t value wealth nearly as much as other nations do.
Take It Slow On The Relationship Stuff
A couple of dates into your fling, you might be thinking “Where is this going?” The answer, for her at least, would usually be “I don’t know yet”.
Swedish women are notorious for taking things very slow when it comes to relationships. You don’t automatically become exclusive as soon as you start sleeping with each other. Casual flings and hookups are accepted, if not actually encouraged in Swedish society. Relationships, on the other hand, are seen as a serious commitment (which they are) and girls tend to be cautious about them.
The great thing about this is it doesn’t mean she’s not into you. It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want a relationship. Swedish women are simply smart enough to actually get to know you before they jump into a relationship.
And it’s not just about you. She wants to be sure in the sincerity of her own emotions, too. Swedes are not a very passionate nation but they value solid and loyal relationships. Girls and guys alike are smart enough to know that rushing into one is a guarantee to get hurt. The non-exclusive dating period is much longer and people like to evaluate their feelings (and yes, also their options).
Once you do get into a relationship, however, you can be 100% sure of your Swedish girlfriend’s honesty and commitment. And yes, I know that honesty and commitment don’t sound as exciting as red-hot passion. But really, who wouldn’t like to settle down with a beautiful, modelesque Swedish girl?
Swedish Women: Your Thoughts?
As usual, we are asking you to share your thoughts, tips, and experiences with Swedish women in the comments below. Sharing is caring, let’s help a fellow Swedish girl aficionado out!
PS: To meet Swedish women, check out this site.