Dating and mating with Norwegian women can be tricky. Is she Little Miss Independence? Does she want a macho man? Go figure!
Well, actually… you will not have to go figure. That’s what this article is for – to teach you how Norwegian women enjoy to be loved – so that you can be prepared to give them your best!
Read on for a comprehensive review of:
- Norwegian dating culture
- The pro’s and con’s of dating Norwegian women
- How to sweep them right off their feet
- Why going intimate is simultaneously the most important and least important part
- … and why Norwegian women do it better!
- To ultimately learn how a Norwegian woman deserves to be loved
Norwegian Women On The Lookout For An Alpha
First things first: Norway is a super feminist country. You have no idea.
Here is a simple example to illustrate that:
Recently, the male soccer team decided to take a stance against the wage gap with their female counterparts. They gave up some payment opportunities (like sponsorships and such) and redirected the money towards the women’s team.
Was it a PR move? Unlikely.
In Norway, most people genuinely believe in gender equality. Men are not afraid of saying “I’m a feminist” out in public. Even in football, which is a notoriously sexist field, they strive for equality.
Unfortunately, this means the 20-something Norwegian girls don’t really realise the privileges they have.
Ugh, local guys are so soft! I want a real man…
That’s a common conversation you’ll hear in every cocktail bar in Oslo!
But what even is macho to these women?
Alpha Men Don’t Go On Paternity Leave
If you didn’t know it, now you do:
Norway has a “daddy quota”. When a child is born, both parents get to go on leave.
But there is more to it, too. If you’re the father of a kid born on or after July 1st 2018, you get 15 weeks non-transferable parental leave. Before, it was 10 weeks (which is already a lot).
And men are taking advantage. You’ll see a surprising number of dads pushing strollers around the streets of Oslo. This amount will only increase!
But why am I telling you all this? You’re here because you want to bang Norwegian women, not have a kid with one of them.
There is a point to it all.
The current generation of men is growing up with a radically different view on gender roles than what you know. What was your own family like? Did your dad get time off work to look after you? Or were you (like most people that clicked on this article), mostly raised by your mom? Was she a stay-at-home mother and homemaker or did she have a career?
Like it or not, the models we grow up with are the models that we follow.
For Norwegian men, in simple terms, their upbringing turned them into ‘softies’. If you ask the women in Norway, they say they want a real man… But they take it for granted that he will help with the dishes, or take paternity leave.
But, of course, both partners should contribute!
Oh, you sweet summer child. Norwegian women are setting themselves up for disappointment! You can’t have the best of both worlds – macho men automatically excludes any feminist tendencies!
So How Do I Deal With That?
Let’s paint a simple (but pretty accurate) picture of what Norwegian women really want:
- Masculine – as in big muscles, a beard, ideally on the taller side
- Caring – makes her feel safe
- Decision-maker – as in, he makes plans for dates and takes the lead…
- But also takes her opinion into account – ‘I mean, he should make a solid suggestion but I don’t want to feel pressured to do anything that I don’t want.’
- Independent – has his own life, earns good money, and has a meaningful career
- Pursues her – ‘A real man should pursue you, the chase is exciting and I want to feel wanted’…
- Isn’t pushy – ‘Ugh, don’t you just hate it when guys won’t stop messaging you or trying to talk to you. Like, buddy, I am not interested!’
It goes on and on. Being masculine is mission impossible for Norwegian guys. They have not been raised this way. In all instances, other than 5-6 specific situations, women expect their guys to be outspoken feminists. Well, you can’t send an alpha on paternity leave!
This is where you come in. You know there is a niche in the singles market. Women that dream of a ‘real man’ and local men that can never completely fill that fantasy.
How Do You Handle A Feminazi?
Whether you can keep this up for a long time is questionable. Norwegian women want to feel special and cared for by my big macho men and respected as equal because of course, I am one.
To impress a Norwegian girl, don’t turn full-on alpha. Instead, pick and choose non-risky masculine behaviours. For instance, when you’re scheduling a date (i.e. on Tinder) go for “How about coffee on Wednesday afternoon?” instead of “Do you want to grab coffee sometime?”
Opening the doors for her, pulling her chair at the restaurant, walking her to the cab – those are all things you can do to seem more chivalrous and caring.
As for looks, well, it helps if you have facial hair. It also helps if you are tall – for practical reasons, too, because Norwegian women are on the taller side. The good news is, even if you’re barely over 5’5, they don’t really mind it. Norway is one of the few places where people never have their height on their Tinder bio.
Where Do You Even Meet Norwegian Women?
There are three main routes:
- Mutual friends
- Online dating
- Clubs and bars
Virtually no Norwegian girl would respond well to day game. It’s a cold country where:
a) Women aren’t thrilled about spending time on the street to chat with a stranger
b) People are cold
This is why I prefer to approach them online. Easier for all parties involved. If you want to have tons of success, create an account over at International Cupid if you don’t have one already.
There is no nice way to say it. Norwegian women can be pretty boring and unfriendly if you try to chat them up. By night, things change because they have alcohol in their system.
Which brings me to my next (incredibly important) point:
The Most Important Relationship-maker In Norway
It’s alcohol, you dirty-minded person.
Norwegian people are notoriously reserved. They tend to be a bit chicken to go outside their friend circle even with alcohol. By day, or if you don’t drink, breaking the ice will be a huge challenge.
Ask any Norwegian:
There is no point in going out if you can’t get drunk!
Here is how it goes for a typical Norwegian night out:
- You pre-game with your friends. Alcohol at the club is ridiculously expensive even for Norwegians.
- Off to the club you go. Most discos don’t have separate tables, or if they do bottle service isn’t a big thing. It’s just a big space with loud music and a bunch of drunk people jumping around.
- You go to the dancefloor and shake your booty (the more alcohol a Norwegian girl has had, the sluttier the dance)
- You end up grinding on some total stranger. If they don’t smell and you’ve had enough drinks, you end up making out.
- It’s off to your place or theirs. For girls, they usually expect a guy to take them home but it’s not a strict rule. Don’t be shocked if she just invites you back to her place.
- The next morning, if she is still next to you (as opposed to having slipped out in the middle of the night), you might decide to ask her out. Don’t get any ideas, though. It’s just for coffee or casual drinks. Dinner is way too intimate.
If you haven’t understood it clearly yet:
Norwegian Dating Culture Is Completely Upside Down
There is a nice illustration of this fact right here.
Seriously, it could not be more comprehensive than that. Norwegians are both super open minded and liberal and seriously socially awkward. This leads to one very logical conclusion: first you go intimate, then you get to know each other.
And since you clicked on an article called ‘How to make love to Norwegian women’, I bet this is good news for you. It’s not hard to get a one-night stand in Norway. What is actually tough is coming back for seconds or, if the stars align, maybe start a relationship.
Some people actively avoid talking to their hookups. There is a sort of cult status around being single. For women especially, some of them would actually brag about how long they’ve spent without a boyfriend. It’s like asserting your independence. An ‘I don’t need a man.’ sort of thing.
What If I Don’t Want A Girl… With A Past?
Well, you can forget about dating Norwegians, pretty much. If you want a girl that doesn’t get into casual relationships with random guys from the club on a regular basis:
- Date very young girls – straight out of high school they have not had enough time to sleep with half the town.
- Go online – not Tinder, think premium dating platforms like International Cupid. The women on there are tired of the whole hookup Norwegian culture. Typically, they are in their late 20’s or early 30’s, they’ve had their fun and now they want to settle down.
Even in those cases, don’t ask what your partner’s body count is. The average 18-year-old in Norway is not a pure virgin. You won’t find many of those in Norway (unless you try to date a Muslim girl). Accept that she has had some experience. As long as your Norwegian crush is not in her hoe phase right now, she will actually make a great girlfriend… Not to mention how hot they all are. Blonde hair, leggy, blue or green eyes… She’s hot!
Why Tinder Is Great For Norway
Scandinavian countries have a vitamin D deficiency. Seriously, you tend to underestimate the importance of sunshine until you go North. In winter, there will be days where you leave at 8 AM for work and it’s dark… By 5 PM, when you come out, it’s night again.
All that lack of sunshine doesn’t help libidos or sociability. The Internet is the escape of choice. Young Norwegians are very connected and social-media conscious. At the same time, their IRL social skills are more than a little bit rusty.
Tinder has at least three separate great reasons for success:
- It appeals to the ego. Norwegian women, in general, have very high self-esteem. Knowing that they have thousands of partners at the tips of their fingers helps feed their ego.
- You can do it from the comfort of your own home/sofa/toilet. It does not require putting on makeup, getting wasted, or even popping your nose out in the cold. Once you see Norwegian winter you will understand why this is such a major perk.
- It reassures her people are just as single as she is. Norwegians are not big on coming out of their comfort zones. Even if a girl doesn’t like being single, she won’t admit it. On Tinder, the mere presence of so many options means other people are in the same situation and that is very reassuring!
I highly recommend trying both Tinder and International Cupid. Norwegian women are huge on the online dating scene. Depending on what you are looking for, one or the other could be more adequate. Either way, meeting someone off the Internet is actually one of the ways to meet more ‘old-fashioned’ people in Norway.
And yes, by old-fashioned I mean ‘Will not jump in bed with a virtual stranger.’
Breaking The Icy Norwegian Women
When a county is so feminist and PC, it’s hard to know what topics are OK. Virtually everything can come across wrong.
What do you mean I look beautiful and feminine in this dress? I could be just as feminine in pants!
Yes, that is an actual thing I have been told.
Fortunately, there is a trick around this. Literally, just talk about their country and how awesome it is. I know it’s hypocritical but hey, it gets the job done.
Are Norwegians Nationalists?
Norway is a young country. It has existed for a long time but has only been independent for a little bit. To top that off, they are one of the wealthiest countries in Europe and the world now. Norwegians boast an excellent Human Development index and are considered to have a great quality of life, even compared to other rich Nordic states.
Norwegians know they are doing well. They’re not particularly humble about it, either.
Here is how it works for most Norwegian women’s opinions:
- She has been raised in an inclusive, open-minded environment.
- Don’t tell her that (it will trigger her a lot), but she hasn’t ever experienced the struggles women face elsewhere – stuff like actual sexism, violence, and horrific traditions like FGM.
- She has had everything handed to her – healthcare, high-quality education, social security.
All in all, the average Norwegian girl has had a nice privileged life. She has lived in her little bubble and thinks this is viable for everybody.
Now, I’m not saying living in a Nordic welfare state is bad. I am, however, saying, that Norwegian women (and Norwegians in general) tend to be completely unrealistic and delusional about how the rest of the world is.
Sure, you might think universal free healthcare should be available for everybody. But do you really think countries like Honduras or Pakistan can afford that? Not everybody has your oil money, Norway!
Anyway, the rant aside, Norwegian women think Norway is the absolute best and other countries should learn from it. Whether you agree with that or not, you can use it to make a safe conversation. Does it kill all spontaneity and honesty? Sure. Will it help you get her in bed? Also sure.
How To Stroke Her Ego
Unlike other countries, Norwegian women aren’t too big on compliments. If you want to stroke her ego, compliment her country. Talk about how beautiful their nature is, how you admire their efforts to solve social issues, whatever.
Another option would be to compliment her work/study. Is she a nurse? Cool, talk about how you admire that she has a meaningful career. Is she doing a PhD in Women’s Studies? Well… You could tell her how you look up to people in academia and their dedication to… Erm, spreading knowledge? Yeah, it does not come out natural for me, either.
Anyway, my point is:
Don’t compliment anything superficial.
Jokes and anti-entitled-little-girls rants aside, this is a neat strategy. We all want to feel seen and understood. No person, no matter how looks-obsessed, sees themselves as just a pair of legs and boobs. Norwegian women appreciate you looking underneath the surface.
It’s one surefire way to build a connection, not just flirt meaninglessly. And speaking of flirting…
Low-Key Is The Key
Norwegian flirting can be very subtle. Sometimes, even exchanging glances could be considered as flirting.
Here is how it goes:
Boy sees girl. Girl sees boy. They stare at each other. Eventually, the one that’s more drunk goes over to the other. They make out.
Norwegian women have no concept of the chase. As in many other Nordic countries, it goes from 0 to 100 really quick. This has a couple of important consequences:
- Over-the-top flirting is not appreciated. You might think showering her with compliments will help you stand out. What it will actually do is scare her away. Norwegian women do not roll that way.
- If she seems cold at first, it’s not necessarily because she isn’t interested. Guys are notoriously bad at reading subtle signs. As a foreigner in Norway, this will be an even bigger problem for you. Watch her body language very closely. The signs that she likes you will be tiny, almost impossible to notice.
At this point you could be asking:
But what if I took my game up a notch… Just a little bit? Won’t this help me impress her? She has not experienced anything like this, probably.
Well, first of all, she probably has. Norwegians are rich enough to travel often. If your interest is at least semi-attractive, she has had foreign men try and hit on her. It’s not like she’s completely new to more ‘high-key’ flirting.
Secondly, and more importantly, your game will naturally be a bit more than she is used to. Especially if you come from Southern culture, simple, non-flirty things like touching another person or standing a bit closer, will be considered flirting in Norway.
The bottom line is:
You don’t need to try harder to impress Norwegian women. If anything, you might even have to take your game down a notch.
The Best Singles Bars In Oslo
This article is supposed to be as practical as possible. We already talked about one very popular way to meet singles (International Cupid and Tinder). Now here are five must-visit singles bars in Oslo. Dating in Norway is all about drinking, so don’t miss out on these:
- Ryes is a hip vintage-style bar in the Grünerløkka neighbourhood. It always attracts an interesting crowd. Especially good if you’re into chicks with tattoos and piercings. You can meet some fun expats here, too.
- Parkteatret is a bar + concert venue in the same package. It’s equally good during the week and on Fridays and Saturdays, even though the vibe is completely different. On a weeknight, expect a laid-back atmosphere, with plenty of people coming here alone to enjoy a beer and read a book (those girls are very easy to approach, by the way). On weekends, it turns into a nightlife hotspot with raging parties and a lot of hot singles.
- The Villa is the place for you if you like electronic music. It’s as close to a rave as it gets in Oslo. And you know the kind of things that happen at raves…
Norwegian Women: The Verdict
Whether you like it or not, Norwegian women aren’t some innocent feminine flowers. They have a bit of a character and it’s not always easy to tame them. But give them a drink or two and the next thing you know – you’re in a cab, going back to her place ;)
Good luck and don’t forget to share your experiences with Norwegian women in the comments below.